Stop the Arguments, And Feel Loved Now!
Become an Emotionally Connected Couple after just Three Sessions of Marriage Counseling in Miami!
Most of my marriage therapy clients have been married for 7 to 10 years with two children, but still feel like something is missing in their lives. There is an itch they want to scratch, but they cannot reach it.
When they first dated and married their partner, they got along wonderfully. They were satisfied sexually, felt connected, enjoyed intimacy, and honestly felt they found the "one" for them. But soon after marriage, the first child arrived and they were caught up in all the changes. The new joy, happiness, sleep deprivation, and stress of balancing parenthood and work began to decrease their relationship intimacy slowly over time.
The tingles that the wife used to feel when her husband held her hand began to turn to disgust at the thought of him touching her again. Sex turned from pleasure into blame. There were few attempts to improve the relationship, and those that were made were not appreciated or reinforced. Instead, they just came off as annoying, of being too little, too late.
What was once hot, passionate, and connected turned cold, remorseful, and separated. This often resulted in my clients feeling ashamed of their own bodies. The wife's body would have undergone changes after the birth of her first child. And the husband may have let himself go, just trying to keep up with the demands and stresses of life.
Spouses, trying to be perfect for each other, forget who they were by themselves over time. Dreams, desires, and fantasies that did not fit a narrow definition of "perfect" were packed tightly into additional baggage that was carried around but never used.
Have you ever been in a relationship like this? One where you started to feel suffocated and trapped. You love your children, but wonder if your marriage will survive, or even if you will be able to survive your marriage? Should you sacrifice your happiness for your kids, or should you be selfish and look after yourself first? Deep down, you know you want to be a great parent AND have a good relationship with your spouse. You've both become so withdrawn that you tiptoe around each other, fearful of starting a fight. You walk on eggshells to avoid tripping the pent-up outrage in both of you. All the excess baggage can get to be so much that you might join the one in four Americans on happy pills, just so they can suffer through their job, pay their mortgage, and put food on the table for their kids.
In many of these cases, the first marriage, which was based on infatuation, faded with nothing left to take its place. Partners then go outside the marriage (infidelity) to get their needs met. They are too afraid to communicate their desires, needs, wants, and fantasies (which they may or may not want to act upon) with their partner until it is too late.
The stress of infidelity or divorce then forces spouses to do the work they were afraid to do before it was too late. The secret to a happy, productive, fulfilling marriage is keeping a clear agreement on the goal and purpose of your relationship. Throughout your marriage, you and your partner will have to review that goal and modify it. The longer the marriage, the bigger the scope of those modifications. While several purposes can keep a marriage healthy, the most powerful I have found as a marriage therapist is the joy of mutual parenting.
I founded ParentMarriage.com as a couples and marriage counseling resource for those who find great joy in raising their children, but are driving each other crazy! If there is one green leaf left alive in the relationship, then a marriage can be revived through couples counseling. And if you and your partner do the work and still decide at the end that divorce is the best option, it can still be well worth it. You will have saved thousands of dollars in legal fees, and both be in a place where you can rationally decide how to split your assets and co-parent your kids.
Over the course of three months of couples counseling, I will guide both of you through the process of defining, clarifying, and agreeing upon the purpose of your marriage. We will address dating, infidelity, sex, parenting, and communication. Once that bedrock is laid, all the other issues around marriage will be renegotiated. After you've come out the other side, you will both have a clear understanding of each of your roles going forward regarding parenting, money, sex, household, and work responsibilities.
To rediscover the foundation of your marriage, you must be brave and take the next step by clicking the button below to scheduling a free marriage counseling appointment. If you're looking for counseling and marriage therapy in Kendall or Miami, I'm free to talk with you by phone at 305.986.2905. Call now!